October 18, 2017

1 A.M

I put a lot of efforts,
I drop thousand hints,
I tried to be a guy u dreamed,
I did my best just for you.
Don’t you notice me?
Here I am keep tossing and turning at 2 a.m ,
Hoping that we can be like them,
Keep loving and missing.
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October 15, 2017

Being Judged

I was staring out the window,
and the rain, it was falling heavily.
Seemed like everything I used to feel,
it was crumbling.
I cannot cope and it hurts inside my mind.
Surely, I couldn’t let it go.

I wondered how this had happened.
Your cheap words keep popping into my mind.
They hurt me so much.
Its very prejudiced,
But i cant put the blame on you,
Because this plea comes from me,
And they simply pass the judgement.

I dont give damn when people judge me,
But when it comes to you,
I really hate myself,
Silly, me.
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July 25, 2017

Khayal khayalan

Menyeret jari
Pada peranti
Atas bawah
Kanan kiri
Setiap masa
Setiap hari
Topik sama
Tidak lari
Ekonomi gugat
Ringgit merudum
Poketnya sendat
Masih tersenyum
Tidak dihirau
Tidakkan risau
Masalah dia
Bukannya engkau
Semua dicandu
Dengan emosi
Drama sendu
Tatap di tv
Patah hati
Tulis puisi
Abai realiti
Kejar fantasi
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June 18, 2017

3 A.M Thoughts

In between of two and four am
I found myself awaken again,
Cant get over your face from my head

The thought of you awakes me
The last words were said,
There is nothing going back.
I feel like the efforts useless
And waste my time.

Everytime i thought that i have move on
Suddenly the thoughts of you come back
Fill my mind

Everytime i try to move on,
You are right there ,
So i give up

Because no matter what have you been
You always been and will always
In my 3am thoughts.
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May 28, 2017

Funny thing called love

Love sure is a funny thing
You whine about being single
How lonely you are
Because
You love someone who doesn’t love you back
But at the same time
You reject someone who love you to death




"Haha...Kelakar kan?" - Fattah Amin, 2017
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Forget how to forget

How to forget someone?
The one that been there for you through ups and downs. The one that understood you, knew you better than yourself. Believed in you, supported every effort, gave you confidence. Easy.
At first, end all type of communication. Delete her number, delete all the conversation, call history. Don’t forget your social media. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. Mute her, block, unfriend. The choices are various. Next, all her possessions with you, throw them all away. Don’t hesitate just throw it away.
Then just occupied yourself with other things. It is hard. You’ll cry every day before sleep, while taking shower, when hearing her favourite songs (accidentally) and at one point even the breeze can remind you of her, thus making you cry. She appears in your dream, either sad or happy or it’s just like the old time. Maybe sometimes you just wish you don’t wake up because when you do, you’ll end up crying more. It’s okay. Time will heal they said.
Some said the pain will just go away. Others said you just get stronger, get over it. Heck, I didn’t know. Maybe you’ll need closure. Like the one in movies or drama. Events that will make you wake up and realize that all in the past. That it’s just you the one that’s still suffering while she already forgot it all.
No matter how hard you tried, there is a piece of her within you. The memories, linger still. You can’t just delete it like deleting old unused file in the computer. She just leave a dent, that is impossible to be normal again. But that’s okay. You’ll learn to embraced it, appreciate the memories and even thanked her.
So you won’t forget her. You never will.
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May 19, 2017

Smile

This smile was built on lies and illusions. Coated with hope and fantasy. Unfortunately, It can’t repel reality. It will kill me, instantly. Its killing me inside.
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May 10, 2017

Have faith

We are always in denial
We say that we are okay without someone that can text us at 3 am where all of the wildest thoughts begin
We say that we don’t need someone to calm us when we are in storm
We are so pretentious that we can live alone without everyone
but in a sorrowful night
We shed our tears silently
knowing there’s no one that we can put our shoulder to cry one
We are human
It’s our nature to be in love and to love
It’s obvious that at the end of the day
our heart & soul is needing someone
Someone that gonna be there regardless of situation & time
If you haven’t found one
have faith
Put your trust on "The One"
that time will come
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April 21, 2017

Reject

We’ve all heard the stories of those being rejected,
How painful it is to give your heart to a person but it ended up being crushed.
The tears, the suffering, the thought of being not good enough for a person.
To be the one to reject someone, is it wrong? Am I evil to say no to a person I do not love? Am I cruel for rejecting a person who I think is not good for me? Do I not deserve someone who I love? That I know will live a happy life with me.
Love is weird yes I agree. We do not choose who we love. But we can’t force it either. Why accept someone when you know there is nothing there? Should I accept every confession? and end up having numerous breakups because it didn’t work out?
The rejected will always get the pity. Those who are rejected will always be the ‘good ones’
The person who rejects them? Heartless? Are they? Am I?
Everyone deserves to be loved, and being rejected is just a way of life telling you “no, not this one, I have something better”
Instead of hating a person for rejecting you, how about take it as a way for you to improve. To love yourself and those who love you back.
Love hurts. It’s just a way to know it exists.
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March 25, 2017

Lost

This is one of those times when I desire nothing but silence.

Some peaceful, undisturbed silence.

This is when all of my repressed emotions I come out to play. My walls are my sanctuary and my emotions are my sole companions.

I am as vulnerable as a newborn and as unstable as a bull. Nothing and everything can make me lash out, either in anger or in tears.

And this is the time when reality leers at me with everything I have been avoiding,

I am completely and utterly lost, and there’s nothing I can do about that.
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